‘The main thing I worry about is being approachable enough’: parents talking to their children about relationships and sex in England

The role of parents in communicating with their children about relationships and sex is receiving increasing attention from policy makers and commentators, both in respect of the recent introduction of statutory relationships and sex education in schools and of rising levels of violence against women in England. While a small body of literature has examined parent-child communication about relationships and sex from parents’ perspectives, this article focuses on the relational aspect of parents’ experiences and on their values in talking to their children about relationships and sex. Twenty-seven parents of children aged 19 and under attending state schools in London were interviewed. We find that, above all, parents want to have an open and honest relationship with their children when talking to them about relationships and sex. Many parents reported a very detailed engagement with children in this area, while others were concerned not to impose or discuss issues before their children were ready. All parents wanted their children to feel they were approachable and could talk to them freely about anything. We suggest that parents need to be supported to connect more with children and young people’s experiences, and to enable them to feel confident in talking to their children about relationships and sex.